Fussy Eating "Throughout 40 years of nannying I found that children are rarely as fussy as
they allow their parents to believe. Winifred (professional Nanny 32 children) Eating, or perhaps we could have called this topic ‘Eats Only Crisps’ or
‘Violently Opposed to Eating Vegetables’ – or even 'Misery, Hard Work and
Despair in the Kitchen’. Having children who are fussy eaters can be a very
frustrating and disheartening parenting problem. This is a very common worry and
many of the parents we interviewed helped us with ideas and advice for
possible solutions. Why is your child fussy? Through our research we’ve established one thing about fussy eaters and that is that there is no pattern, and certainly no common cause. Fussy children come in all shapes and sizes and from every type of family. Parents of children who are fussy eaters really have only two things in common - a tendency to worry themselves into a frenzy, and a conviction that in some way it is their fault their child is fussy. As a toddler my first son was a really faddy eater: if I got one tiny pot of
Fromage Frais down him I wanted to leap out into the street, cheer and shout:
“it’s OK, it’s fine – tonight he is not going to die of malnutrition”. Louise ~ 2 sons (15 & 12 yrs) If that sounds familiar then we have good news for you. Our research has
proved to us that worrying about fussy eating doesn't help much and it is unlikely that your child is fussy because of what you have done. Very occasionally, children are faddy because of some effect of their parent’s attitude towards food. However, we found so many families where just one child was fussy, that we are sure it’s really down to the children and their individual tastes. Put simply, some people are born liking tomatoes and some aren’t! You can learn to like things if you want to, but this is an adult behaviour – you can’t make your child like something he or she hates. What is both reassuring and frustrating is how the tastes of children within the same family will vary SO much. My eldest son will eat any fruit in any stage of
ripeness. He likes any colour of apples, black bananas, pomegranates – anything. My daughter’s taste for fruit extends to small rosy apples and fairly unripe green
grapes of exactly 1cm diameter. There is only two years between my 'fruit eater'
and my 'fruit refuser' and they have always eaten together. My son however will
not eat bacon, never has and nothing will persuade him – he is one of the few
people on this planet who doesn’t like the smell of cooking bacon. I have one son who can’t be in the same room with anyone eating fish and another who would choose to eat mussels for tea every night if he could – and I have to feed them together every day of the week! So we suggest the first thing to do, when working out how to deal with a fussy
eater, is decide whether your child genuinely dislikes a few foods, or if they
are fussy simply because they are nervous about trying new foods. Maybe they
feel happier and more secure eating the same old boring things? You need to
decide how much difference it will actually make to family life if your child
became less fussy. Where fussy eating can become a real issue is when it spoils the time you have together as a family. For example if it turns family mealtimes into a battle or limits what the family can do and enjoy together, such as going out to eat. Or if, as a result of being fussy, a child will turn down invitations to tea with friends (or worse, you find your child isn’t invited out to eat). If you have a child who you feel is making life difficult because of fussy eating here are some of the best tips we’ve collected for you to try: Try and eat with your children and share the food you like with them – let
them see you eat and enjoy a wide variety of food – this is about the most
effective thing you can do. Don’t force a child to eat something they hate – this is one way to ensure
he or she will never enjoy that particular food. Don’t take the first refusal, if a new food is rejected at your first
attempt to serve it, leave it a few weeks and try again (without reminding
them in any way that they hadn’t liked it before). Don’t let the child hear you talking about how fussy he or she is – there
is no doubt that children can choose to be fussy as a form of attention
seeking. Sometimes include the children in deciding what they are going to eat, let
them choose a meal, talk about ideas of new things to try and encourage them
to sample new tastes by the mouthful, rather than the plateful. Most children love to cook when given the opportunity, and they will
almost certainly eat what they have cooked themselves. Remember, just like with any other aspect of family life children’s eating
habits change, if you have a fussy eater you can look forward to the time that
will change (and if your children are good eaters don’t be too smug – there’s
still time for them to develop fussy habits!) We think that there is one thing you can do when your children are young which can reduce the chances of them turning into fussy eater – as early as possible let them feed themselves. This will mean your babies and toddlers are covered in food after every meal, and you won’t be able to hurry through mealtimes, but it will be worth it. We are convinced there is a link between allowing your children to have fun with food and their willingness to try new tastes and textures. Children’s tastes develop at different rates – some children develop
sophisticated tastes at an earlier age than others. Don’t panic if your child,
aged three, chooses plain pasta and his friend prefers Thai chicken
curry.
My friends have said what brilliant eaters my children were when they were
younger and I do remember they ate everything. Now I’m finding it very
frustrating because we have always given them a huge variety of food, Chinese,
curry – all sorts, we very rarely have a roast. But now I hear that other
people’s kids will eat new things and mine are just “pizza, pasta – really
boring, repetitive food”. It’s so disappointing when they made such a good start
and we’ve given them such choice all their lives, now they turn around and want
such a limited diet. Carol – 1 daughter & 1 son (13 & 16 yrs) And finally remember:- By the time your child is an adolescent he or she will almost certainly be eating a wider variety of food in order to fit in with their friends. How many adults have you heard ordering chicken nuggets and chips in a restaurant? Eating is a big topic, we’ve also lots of great advice and
tips on how to get your children to eat healthily, ideas for easy family meals,
thoughts on table manners and what children should drink. We will tackle these
under hot topics in the future – if you want to go on our e-mail update list
please click her to register. Check out our Café Board discussion forum as well – see the link at the top of this page (centre left). |