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Wot - No Party Bags? I have always been averse to party bags and have always tried to make the kids at the party "work for their goodies". I can't bear it when you have a queue of children just waiting to be handed a bag of presents in order to take home - isn't that the wrong way round?! The plastic tat only gets chucked in the bin a couple of days later - it’s only the sweets that kids seem bothered about. My children's favourite party game is the "shopping game". It’s dead simple - buy a big bag of cheap pasta shapes and chuck them around the garden or house in a semi hidden way. Meanwhile, you have set up a "sweet shop" - easily run by an older sibling, granny or Godmother. Give each child a colourful paper bag with their name written on it (as an additional game you can get each child to decorate a “going home” bag). Each child runs off to collect some pasta in order to use it as money at the shop....each sweetie is priced in the number of bits of pasta it costs. The kids can spend a good 25 minutes on this game and end up with a bag of sweets to take home. Everyone loves it. Vanessa ~ 1 son & 2 daughters (8,10 & 12 yrs) The only good party bag is one someone else has made! I suppose the sweets are quite useful, the girls never eat them all and so I keep them for another time. We seem to do quite well for sweets that way. Rosie ~ 2 daughters (8 & 5 yrs) We both feel that it is time to ban the party bag! To be honest both of us disliked party bags before we started our discussion groups. Our experience is that the sweets get eaten in five minutes; the cakes gets squished into the carpet or car seat; and, the plastic toys break or cause major warfare with younger brothers and sisters. Also, by the end of most parties haven’t children ingested enough sugar? Yet parents still succumb to convention and produce party bags. So we were surprised when the vast majority of parents in our discussion groups owned up to being against them. Our conclusion is that most parents would like to ban party bags, but are worried about the reaction from their children and from other parents. So our advice is go for it - you will quickly find other parents leap to follow your lead! I made a stand quite early about party bags, I hated seeing children scrabbling for them at the end of a party and couldn’t bear the idea of my children being that greedy. So I told them we wouldn’t have party bags. Now I simply buy a big bag of mini bars, tip them into a big basket and get each child to take a couple when they go home. I am also able to offer sweets to the brother and sisters who come with parents to collect children from the party. So, as children can’t fight over the contents of a non-existent party bag, I feel I’m stopping squabbles in the cars going home. Not Another Magician! I think you have to be aware of what kind of parties your children’s friends are having, especially if you are using local entertainers. One of my boys got fed up one year, we arrived at a party and he was heard to say, by the entire room, “oh no, not another magician”! Deidre ~ 2 sons (7 & 9 yrs) I remember being completely panicked by my daughter’s first birthday – I ended up hiring a party room at the local leisure centre and getting the food done by a caterer. We could have bought a small family car with what I spent on the party bags! On the video of the party I look SO stressed you would think my life depended on how many marmite sandwiches a group of toddlers might need (of course now I know it was more a question of how many marmite sandwiches a group of toddlers can throw at each other/grind into the carpet/ squash into their pockets). The way families celebrate birthdays will be very personal to them. The usual ideas of swimming, cinema, bowling, paintballing and football parties are great fun; but can be expensive. We’ve been given some great ideas for “home made parties” which, we think, are original, cheaper and just as enjoyable. Try pizza making- each child sits round the table and has their own pizza base. They then proceed to add any ingredients they want from a selection of bowls. You can provide bowls of tomato paste, peppers, ham, sweetcorn, cheese, tuna, bacon, pineapple etc. Once cooked the children seem to enjoy the birthday tea much more knowing they made it. They also enjoy looking at and discussing each other’s efforts. You can also do sweet pizzas with grated chocolate, marsh mallows, hundreds and thousands etc. Melt them very briefly in a hot oven or microwave. Many families find that children still enjoy old fashioned party games - pass the parcel, musical chairs/bumps, hunt the thimble, etc. Try challenging your elder children to organize a party for a younger brother or sister – they very often do a fantastic job, and enjoy themselves in the process. Fancy dress parties are still popular with four to eight year olds: but beware most parents will curse you! An idea that children from about 8 seem to love is themed parties. For example you could chose an Indian theme. Invite the guests to come dressed in Indian style clothing, serve curry and Indian sweets, and hire a Bollywood movie. This is great hit with 10 or 11 year old girls. Other popular themes we’ve been told about were Chinese, Hawaiian, Junior S Club, Australian, cowboy, Star Trek and, of course, Harry Potter. From about the age of about 9, girls love the idea of a sophisticated, grown up style dinner party. Pottery parties: there are several organisations now from which you can book pottery parties - either at a special venue or to have at home. (These types of parties are great if you want to restrict the number of guests and avoid asking the whole class.) Karaoke party: beg or borrow a child’s Karaoke machine or improvise with a microphone and CD player. You can theme by choosing a style of music (boy band, garage, disco, Elvis etc.) or making it into a mini Eurovision” song contest. Make more of a sleep-over by calling it a “Pyjama party”. Local theatres are now staging sing along film showings – such as "Sing-a-long-a-Sound-of-Music". Again girls love these, although beforehand they may not get very excited (because the concept is unfamiliar) once at the event everyone trying this type of party reports that the children have the most fantastic time. (However, we suggest you book carefully as one popular show of this type is "Sing-a-long-a-Rocky-Horror-Picture-Show"!) "It’s a Knock Out" type events or mini-assault course parties work well, especially with boys. Getting the children to design and make obstacle courses and then having timed races around them. Or try imitating the corporate teambuilding type events – put the children into teams and give them a challenge. Ideas we’ve been told about include transporting buckets of water - how much is left at the end? Transporting things over obstacles, examples include giant teddies, space hoppers, and handfuls of Smarties (the children have to stop and eat any they drop). You can also hire "Gladiators" type inflatable assault and endurance type equipment.
I had a German work colleague who was very into making things, and at her suggestion one of my girls had a “hobby horse” party. We used old fashioned mop heads (clean!). I gave the kids old dark coloured socks stuffed to make the nose, some ribbon for reigns and felt pieces to stick on for the eyes. The children enjoyed doing it, especially the girls who were better at it as they were much more patient. The boys liked it too - but they wanted it done straight away. However, I made two fatal mistakes. I didn’t organize myself and ended up looking for socks the night before – I ended up using my own which were far too good for the job. And I now know that at the start of the afternoon I should have told the children the hobby horse was what they were taking home at the end of the party - instead of a party bag. I didn’t explain this - so at the end of the party some of them were disappointed. They did enjoy hobby horse races in the garden though. Deidre ~ 2 sons (7 & 9 yrs) You have to be careful with the first sleep over party, especially with boys. When my youngest son was 12 we got a film in, had a take away and had eleven of his friends to stay and he hated it! They don’t sleep do they, at that age they are so wild and excited and mad? My son kept coming down and standing with me in the kitchen and couldn’t bear it because his room was such a tip. He said then he never wanted to do it again like that – and he hasn’t. Marge ~ 1 daughter & 2 sons (17, 26 & 27 yrs) Help – I don’t do baking! You have to think carefully about cakes – most of the children won’t eat much if it is served, as it often is, at the end of the party. At this point they are tired and probably full up on party food. So if you slave lovingly over a beautiful cake you must prepare yourself to feel unappreciated when, after the hoards have departed, you find yourself scraping most of it into the bin! Lucy ~ 1 daughter (10 yrs) Why is it, we wonder, that perfectly sane, successful women decided they suddenly need to prove they can be accomplished confectioners at a moments notice? Icing cakes is a very skilled job which people train for; that’s why really great cakes cost so much money. Cake decoration shops have fantastic instant decorations, which often you can re-use. You wouldn’t try and make your own chocolate bars, so unless it is something you really love doing, why slave over a cake? And, of course, most supermarkets stock a large range of themed and celebration cakes: if you can’t bake, buy! We think the quotes we included below say it all………………. I get so stressed over birthday cakes. I get the book out and ask the kids which one they want and they always choose the hardest one. Actually it doesn’t help that it’s an Australian cake book and some of the things it says you need I can’t get over here. I made a castle cake and the turrets collapsed overnight, I put toothpicks in to hold it up - it was a nightmare. Jill ~ 2 daughters (8 & 5 yrs) I realised after two or three birthdays that no one really eats the cake, and mostly the kids don’t really notice your fantastic racing car with real light up headlights -yes I did do this once! Buy a cheap sponge and just cover it in icing, sweets and candles and everyone will be happy. Or even better buy one from a supermarket. Vicky ~ 1 daughter (10 yrs) I am very fortunate to have the world’s best Mother-in-law, who will happily make lovely home made and carefully decorated cakes – the children love the cakes and I love my Mother-in-law.
Instead of a cake I do very generous bowls of ice cream decorated with sweets. I buy those candles shaped like numbers and stick the appropriate one in the birthday child’s ice cream along with a couple of sparklers – he or she then has something to blow out, we all sing happy birthday, and I don’t throw anything in the bin because they all hoover up the ice cream. Heidi ~ 1 son (15 yrs) Cakes have caused more disasters at our parties than anything else – all I can say is if you agree to a themed cake, or buy one, do your research carefully. My youngest son had a “Harry Potter” cake. I duly cut this up and gave it out and then suddenly my son realised that I had given someone else the “Gryffindor” flag – well he was beside himself, “this is the worst day of my life” he sobbed! Deidre ~ 2 sons (7 & 9 yrs) And finally I was amazed at how well Patrick’s eighth birthday party was going. He had invited twelve boys round to our house to play football and generally mess about in the garden. My eldest son was supervising, I had already prepared the food - everything was going so smoothly that I felt almost redundant. So I poured myself a glass of wine and took it into the garden and allowed myself to feel somewhat smug.
Disaster didn’t strike until almost the end of the party. I was contentedly waiting for the first parent to arrive to collect their little darlings when, all of a sudden, there was a terrible scream from the garden. It was the type of scream you take seriously and I ran outside. I was confronted with the sight of a small boy covered in blood, his entire shirt soaked scarlet red, and blood visibly pumping from his nose. At this point the sight of so much blood, added to the pain he was in, set him wailing in extreme distress and as I reached him he started to pass out and collapsed into my arms. I carried him inside, at the same time issuing instructions to my older children to fetch water and towels.
As a nurse I was familiar with just how much blood a serious nose bleed can generate, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t anything worse than a bad nose bleed. However, I was desperate to calm the child and stem the blood flow before the mother arrived. I was now also covered in blood and the child had started wailing again - so I had to shout over the noise “for goodness sake “ I shouted at my daughter, “shut the front door so his Mum can’t just walk in on this”………….but of course she had already arrived and was standing, horror struck, in the kitchen doorway. Check out our 'Café Board' discussion forum as well – see the link centre left above. We would love to hear from you if have any ideas for birthday parties – or you can share any horror stories that might save other parents from repeating your mistakes! Click on the 'Contact Us' button above. We are also currently researching Christmas and how to survive the preparation and the day itself. Do contact us if you have anything to contribute – use the link 'Contact Us' above or right. |